Matrescence: From womanhood to motherhood
Motherhood is a spiritual rite of passage that in our society is commonly overlooked. Have you considered the evolutionary leap your soul makes from going from maiden to mother? ―Aurélie Athan
👥 Serves: 1 person
🎚 Difficulty: Hard
⏳ Total time: 11-30 minutes
🥣 Ingredients: A journal and a pen, “Mama Rising” book by Amy Taylor-Kabbaz (if you’re curious to find out more about it!)
🤓 Wholebeing Domains: Awareness, Discomfortability, Positive Emotion, Ritualising
💪 Wholebeing Skills: Acceptance, Affirmation, Grieving, Journaling, Letting go, Mindfulness, Reframing, Refuge, Resilience, Transcendence
Matrescence: From womanhood to motherhood
📝 Description
Supporting the spiritual transformation from woman to mother.
In the book Mama Rising, author Amy Taylor-Kabbaz calls your attention to the concept of matrescence, which describes the all-encompassing transition from woman to mother. A bit like adolescence, matrescence “is the emergence of a whole new identity: physical, emotional, societal, spiritual”. Dana Raphael, who coined the term ‘matrescence’ in the 1970s, points out that “[g]iving birth does not automatically make a mother out of a woman.” Taylor-Kabbaz explains that matrescence acknowledges that a woman’s life has been changed forever, “and there is a grieving process connected to that, plus a reconfiguring of everything we knew.” The following recipe empowers you to acknowledge your grit and grace as true strengths in this matrescence journey.
👣 Steps
Step 1 – Acknowledge your strength (10’)
Take out your journal and a pen and pause for a moment to think about all you do as a mother every day. Remember when you were heavily pregnant, carrying your baby in your pelvis? Remember when you gave birth and learned to breastfeed? Remember the hours of rocking and comforting? Remember your return to work, trying to hide that you only had a few hours of sleep? Remember the first time you took your child to the hospital, trying to stay positive to ensure your child wouldn’t be scared? Remember the feeling of exhaustion while washing the dishes before the next round of meals in just a few hours? While not all of the above might relate to you, note down your thoughts and feelings as you acknowledge this inner grit of yours.
Step 2 – Overcome disempowerment (10’)
If birth grief prevents you from tapping into your inner strength as a woman and a mother, reflect on the following questions in the most graceful way accessible to you right now.
- How do I feel about the birth?
- Am I proud of the outcome?
- Do I feel empowered by the process? Or was my power taken away from me?
- Do I need to forgive myself or anyone else for what happened during the birth?
- Do I wish it had been different?
Step 3 – Meditation to reclaim your strength (10’)
Close your eyes and start focusing on your breath.
Begin to notice the breath moving in and out of your nostrils.
Feel it filtering down through your body.
Just spend a few minutes really connecting with your breath.
In your mind’s eye, take yourself back to the birth of your baby.
Take yourself into that room.
Feel it. See it. Smell it. Remember it. Remember how it felt.
See your face in your mind’s eye – what does it look like?
How is that woman feeling right now?
Is there fear in her eyes, or is there a power and wonder?
Can you sense in your body now how it felt back then?
Go to that woman in your mind, and hold her hand.
Look deep into her eyes and tell her she is doing an amazing job.
Breathe with her. Tell her again. And again.
Surround her with love and energy.
See the power and energy of Mother Earth around her,
and all the mothers that have ever given birth before her.
She has all of that energy to call on now.
Wrap it around her.
Then, see your baby being born. Relive that moment.
The welcoming of their little spirit into this world.
That first breath.
If fear or judgement comes up, just smile at yourself in your mind’s eye again,
tell yourself you did the best you could, and send yourself love.
Tell the woman you see how amazing she is again.
Feel your baby on your chest now. Feel their skin on your skin.
See their spirit connecting with yours, just like it did when they were inside you.
You did it. You did it. You did it.
You are a mother.
You are amazing.
Your child is here, in this world, because of you.
Feel that tingling in your body? That is your power.
That is your strength. That is yours forever now.
No-one and nothing can take that from you.
Open your eyes when you are ready.