Thriving at work as a highly sensitive person
I am deeply moved by things. I’d hate to miss the intense joy of that. ―Elaine N. Aron
👥 Serves: 1 person
🎚 Difficulty: Medium
⏳ Total time: Ongoing
🥣 Ingredients: Self-compassion and self-advocating
🤓 Wholebeing Domains: Discomfortability, Liberatory Learning, Positive Emotion, Rest
💪 Wholebeing Skills: Adaptability, Affirmation, Agency, Boundary-setting Feedback, Flexibility, Seeking support, Self-regulation, Serenity, Stress management
Thriving at work as a highly sensitive person
📝 Description
Advocate for yourself at work as an HSP.
Can you relate to any of the following?
- You have been called ‘oversensitive’ or ‘shy’.
- You are easily overwhelmed by your senses.
- You find violence in the media deeply upsetting.
- You avoid stressful situations, including large crowds.
- You have been called ‘thoughtful’ and ‘caring’.
- You strive to bring joy to the people you care about.
- You are in tune with your emotions.
You may not resonate with the entire list, however the majority of highly sensitive people (HSPs) experience the majority of these. They experience the world differently as they tend to be more in tune with life’s subtleties while processing emotions and situations deeply. Approximately 20% of the population are HSP. It is important to note that being a HSP is not a disorder or diagnosis, but a personality trait.
While sensitivity is a trait that everyone experiences, according to psychologist and professor Michael Pluess, PhD, the depth is a spectrum. Sensitivity is determined by both genetics and nature, with the majority of HSP being born that way.
Although high sensitivity is considered a “nature” trait rather than a “nurture” trait, the way in which you are nurtured can influence how it impacts your life. For example, if your high sensitivity was appreciated and cherished growing up, you have a higher chance of being well-adjusted with tools to manage your high sensitivity. Oppositely, if you were criticised for being highly sensitive, you may find it very challenging or even shameful. Unfortunately, some cultures consider sensitivity and being emotional as a weakness.
Living as an HSP does come with its challenges, but there are so many fantastic traits to be appreciative of.
- Acute self-awareness: HSP are often extremely tuned with their emotions, responses, and triggers, allowing them to regulate their actions, words, and moods.
- Ability to form great relationships: HSP’s self-awareness extends to others, and they can often pick up on small social cues or body language that others may not, which helps with social skills and bonding with others.
- Nurturing skills: By being deeply in tune with others, HSP have instinctive nurturing qualities and the ability to care for others by recognising their feelings, understanding their needs, and offering support.
- Recognising the little things: HSP are usually very curious and find wonder and pleasure in the little moments that are often overlooked by others, allowing them to appreciate life and seize the day.
- Connecting to Nature: Some HSP feel deeply connected to Nature and thrive in open, outdoor spaces. Some may even recognise certain cues from the environment, including the ability to detect impending dangers.
- Empathy: HSP are generally very empathetic making them trustworthy and able to detect others’ motives which can lend themselves to great success in leadership roles.
When it comes to work, research agrees that HSP are an asset. Managers consistently rate HSP as top employees due to their thoughtfulness, conscientiousness, empathy, and dedication.
This recipe has been created by our wellbeing content writer collaborator Marissa Del Mistro with inspiration from Melody Wilding, an executive and leadership coach for smart, sensitive high achievers.
👣 Steps
Step 1 – Take breaks
Workplace settings can be overwhelming and daunting for HSP because they notice and feel everyone and everything. Taking breaks as well as planning daily relaxation rituals before and after work can help you protect your energy field so you can empathise with others without absorbing their emotions. Consider trying the following:
- Labelling emotions and identifying who they belong to. Labelling invites a brief pause, which helps create distance from the emotional experience. The moment you catch yourself feeling emotions that aren’t yours, increase your awareness. You may wish to say a word or phrase, such as ‘I am kind, but this is not the time’ or ‘empathy’ to refocus your mind into understanding that you should strive to be supportive, rather than overpowered by the emotional state of others. Our recipe “Nurture your compassion roots” might be useful to help you identify whom you can extend compassion to.
- Return the person’s emotions to them. You may do this through mantras such as, ‘I will not carry this burden’, or ‘I am letting this go now’, or by closing your eyes and visualising returning an item to them. When the person takes the item from you, you are releasing yourself from their emotions. Remember that while you can support the other person, it is not your job to carry other people’s emotional burdens. Our recipe “Releasing energy” might come in handy here.
- Practise mindfulness and meditation. This allows you to calm your nervous system and reconnect to the moment when feeling overwhelmed. You may wish to practise one, or all, of the following recipes: “5 elements meditation”, “Calm your nerves”, “Colour-breathing meditation”, “Draw breath”, “Heart-breathing meditation”, and “Managing stress”.
Step 2 – Advocate for your needs
HSP tend to process information very deeply by absorbing details and putting more cognitive attention to each task assigned to them. They are more likely to do their best work when they can do so deliberately with plenty of time to think things through.
Depending on your line of work, you might be able (or not) to set deadlines or assignments. However, you can advocate and communicate what you need to get the job done.
- Prioritising. If you are presented with changing priorities or bombarding assignments, you may speak to your manager and say something such as, “You requested for A by tomorrow, but you also asked for B. I have the capacity to get one finished in that time frame, but not both. Which one is a higher priority?”
- No-scent policy. If you have a physical reaction, such as headaches, to even subtle perfumes/colognes or other strong scents, you may request for a no-scent policy. This is becoming increasingly common in many public spaces.
- Softer lights. You might be sensitive to certain lights. While it might not be reasonable (nor cost-effective) to have your workplace replace fluorescent/bright lights, you may be able to discuss bringing in a soft lamp for your desk or agreeing to utilise natural light more.
- Working from home. You may also request to work from home, where there may be fewer distractions and stimulants, or request to work in a private space at the office to minimise disruptions.
You can find more inspiration in our recipe “Creating the right work spaces”. Remember that you do not have to suffer in silence at work and a reasonable manager will support you.
Step 3 – Prepare for feedback
Reviews and feedback are critical for growth as an employee. However, despite being stellar communicators, HSP may have strong emotional reactions to criticism, as they want to make others happy. Criticism can be particularly challenging if it is unexpected, such as during a presentation or a meeting. To support yourself with this, you may do the following:
- Request notice before a formal work review. This can give you time to focus on strategizing how you will take on board the feedback. If you are going through a difficult review or receive unexpected criticism, focus your awareness on your breathing and then take a break afterwards to process how it made you feel.
- Take your time. You may say to a colleague who presents unexpected feedback, ‘I tend to have a strong reaction to criticism. Though I don’t disagree with you, I require some time to process your words. I will follow up with you’, or ‘Thanks for the feedback. Please allow me some time to digest what I’ve heard.’
- Build resilience. Work on your inner resilience to feedback with the help of our recipe “Rethinking rejection”.
Step 4 – Reclaim your time outside of work
Everyone should strive for a solid work-life balance, however, HSP require more downtime to unwind, enjoy their surroundings, and process their day/week.
Outside of work hours, prioritise practising self-soothing and self-care activities. Most HSP appreciate activities that allow for processing, thinking about life, and peace. Doing this will help you to be prepared for work and its associated challenges. Here are some activities you may enjoy:
- Creative activities. Painting, drawing, sewing, or DYIng are activities that engage your body but allow your mind and heart to rest. You may wish to try our recipes “Mindful colouring”, “Mandala drawing”, or “The gift of poetry”.
- Time in Nature. Nature is a big healer so consider spending quality time outdoors. You may take your pet for a walk, or enjoy a soul-quenching “Solo day”.
- Find joy in the past. You may enjoy ruminating on positive memories and experience great joy. Check out our recipes “Music stroll down the memory lane” and “PowerPoint for a peaceful sleep”.
- Start a collection. You may wish to collect pieces of art, records, comic books, quotes, wine, tickets, or other simple things that bring you joy.
- Solo workouts. Participate in a solo workout such as a bike ride, HIIT class, swimming, or lifting weights. If you are not sure where to start, try one of our yoga-based recipes: “Chair yoga”, “Gentle morning flow”, “Immune sequence (morning)”, “Morning yoga routine”, “Sun salutation”, “Yoga practice for people after menstruation”, “Yoga practice for people during menstruation”, and “Yoga 4 Peace”. Or why not lose yourself in “Ecstatic dance”?
- Reading. Enjoy a book that has powerful characters and a storyline with which you can relate emotionally.
- Slow down (and enjoy). Learn how to seize the day and embrace the joy of uselessness.