Vulnerability and honesty at the dinner table
Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. —Marcel Proust
👥 Serves: 11-25 people, 2-10 people
🎚 Difficulty: Medium
⏳ Total time: 121-240 minutes
🥣 Ingredients: Guests, which can be colleagues, friends, strangers, delicious food (actual food!), and a non-judgemental approach
🤓 Wholebeing Domains: Community, Discomfortability, Positive Emotion, Radical Care, Ritualising
💪 Wholebeing Skills: Authenticity, Closeness, Happiness, Honesty, Hosting conversations, Relating to Others, Storytelling, Trust, Vulnera-bravery
Vulnerability and honesty at the dinner table
📝 Description
An opportunity to build community by having a dinner with guests who can engage in memorable open and honest conversation.
Humans crave time together. Social moments help us to see ourselves in mirror images, boost our mental wellbeing and teach us something every time. Dinner parties can be one of the most intimate and special occasions to create compelling moments by sharing delicious food and stories.
Yet, sometimes, these dinner parties can feel stifled and rehearsed. To counter that feeling and build a sense of community, this recipe is influenced by “15 Toasts”, whereby leaders, innovators, business owners, and others, leave their agenda at the door and focus on a singular theme for the evening, to connect and spark innovation, inspiration, vulnerability, and trust.
This recipe has been inspired by Priya Parker’s book “The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters.” Priya Parker is the founder of Thrive Labs, a facilitator, strategic advisor, and author. It has been adapted by our wellbeing content writer collaborator Marissa Del Mistro.
👣 Steps
Step 1 – Create the guest list (10’)
Is this dinner for work, something you want to do as part of a work conference, something you want to do with new people in your life, or something you want to do with your loved ones?
Write the guest list, which can consist of however many people you wish, but we encourage you to limit it to 20 people, to give everyone ample time to speak.
Step 2 – Choose the theme (10’)
To get the conversation flowing on the night of the event, choose a brilliant topic that everyone can speak to.
When you invite your guests, inform them about the topic and the goal of sharing a story that relates to the topic. As the goal of the evening is to spark honesty and trust, consider a topic that is going to fuel new ideas and gently nudge people to speak their truth. Some suggestions for themes include: fear, laughter, change, beauty, local, risk, escape, courage, education, etc.
Step 3 – Set the tone (>30’)
Set the tone of the evening by creating a meal space that is inclusive, protective, and safe.
You can begin the conversation by ensuring everyone feels comfortable and has something to eat/drink. If there are doors, close them to protect the energy in the room, and remove any unused chairs. The goal is for guests to feel supported and protected to share their stories that may not be light and airy.
Step 4 – Truth teller (>60’)
Everyone around the table will get a chance to share a personal story that pertains to the theme of the evening – ending off with a toast that is shared by the entire table. One tip Parker has if you think your group is shy is to mention that the last person giving their toast must do so while singing – usually this gets the storytelling going!
Listen actively when others are sharing and maybe take the reins by sharing first (if you are usually the last one to speak) and by telling a story that is unexpected – ensuring it is one that no one in the room has heard before!
Watch the magic unfold as your guests share intimate, funny, and personal anecdotes that helped form the person they are today. The group will be able to put together pieces of everyone’s character in ways you did not know previously, in a meaningful and unforgettable manner.
End the evening by offering praise to your guests, followed by a moment of silence, music, or whatever feels suitable for your group.